FarFarAWAYFaa

I like you even it is forbidden

2011-09-26T00:13:00.004+08:00

** something that i wrote to express my feelings toward a person :)

I like you even it is forbidden

The look from your face light up my life

The smile from you made my world full’s of joy

To hear your laugh is also brighten my day

Your like a sunshine of my life

When I look at you every time you turn around

My heart stops by for a moment

When hearing your voice from a far, I stood still

Because I wish at least I can see you in a glance

I think I’m falling for you even I know it’s forbidden

I think I like you even the first time we meet

The way you talk, walk, move and go around made me malt, just in a second…

I think, I’m falling for you…

More and more…

Each day and every second of my life…

Dear Sir,

I like you even it is forbidden……

Feb 10^th, 2011

Thursday

Erza Ibrahim

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

2011-09-20T22:41:00.001+08:00

Sitting by the window and look outside

Searching for the best view that can make me feel more comfortable,

Hope that it will bring more peaceful in my heart

As I be in the middle of tornado

Seeing how is the world spin so fast in front of me

Watching how people can twist the things and make up stories

Crashing each others and made their life more miserable

As I waiting here all alone in the middle of the tornado

As I still trying to find the best view that can bring more peaceful to my heart

Searching for a new hope

For me, my self, my life, my future and people that I love the most

Trap here with heavy chain at my both hand, in the middle of tornado

Fells more miserable than ever, than anyone else here

I wish for a new direction in life

Wishing for a new hope in life

Looking for a new world to explore

Even I'm trap in this twisted world of tornado

But I will not give up

Hoping…..

Wishing…

Dreaming…

That one fine day, I will be out from here

And fly high above in the blue sky…. Like an eagle….

Dear ALLAH S.W.T,

Please give me peace in heart and made me a better person

And bring peaceful here…..

-Erza Ibrahim -

Money Money Monye

2010-06-28T22:13:00.002+08:00

Money money money, must be funny
in a rich man world...
well come back to think about money $$$$
money is not everything (for someone who has money)
but money is everything (for someone who doesn't has it)
i read an article about a confession from a lady says that;
"I rather suffer sitting at the back seat of a BMW than be happy riding a motorcycle"
See how money can control people and also can control feelings..
It's true!!! Girl tend to fall for someone to some who has extra in income the the ordinary...
Who don't want to be rich rite?
everybody want to have luxurious life with pocket full of money
but try to go back to our childhood time,
when you still a little boy and girl, when your teacher ask you what you want to be when you grown up?
I want to be a doctor, a pilot, a lawyer, a teacher, etc
hardly heard someone want to be a guard, cleaner, cashier, etc
It's not that I'm looking down at this job specific but since we were kids, we tend to choose to be something with a big income..
See how money play it's role since we don't know anything about money we already like something similar to big money...
Money money money....
think back how many percent of us be what we want to be when we was a kid,
as for me, i want to be a teacher but when i grow up see my mother working as a teacher, I'm not get into it anymore but after graduation I wish I am a teacher, at least I'm serving the community in my own way;
giving information to people.... and teacher got better paid and less working hours and more holidays than other job specification...
still money..... rite?
ngee ngee ngee

what you want to do in your life?

2010-06-08T23:07:00.003+08:00

what you really want to do in your life?
satisfied with your life now?
not many would satisfied with what they have..
for me,
my dream.....
i want to be a host for discovery travel asia channel
so i can travel and visit places that I never ever think it might be existed
as well as I can give people knowledge about the places I've been and entertain them in the same time...
i want to be a photographer,
so I can take pictures of places I've been
take beautiful pictures of the world
captures beautiful moment of my life....
I want to be a writer,
so I can write the experience what I gain from my jobs
as well as delivered knowledge of travel to others
I want to be a Tourism Lecturer when i retired from being a host
so I still can give knowledge to other in a right way
as well as share my experience with others...

but the truth:
I only doing Public Relation for a Travel agent
Meet up guest, clients and supplier
as well as handling complaints..

I don't know how to achieve my dreams now
those days of dreaming are finally over
have to accept my life as it was
even i try hard to make it better
but it usually turn out to be ordinary

anybody know how can i make my dreams came true?

dream, dream, dream
event so hard to be true, but still hoping and dreaming
never stop believing
i hope, one fine day, I'll get what I deserve to be
Aminnnnn......

di dalam dilema

2010-05-29T10:18:00.002+08:00

emmm.. tibe2 teringat lagu KRU di dalam dilema, but for me now is like that, di dlm dilema sebab?
huuuuuu ='(
dia, i really like him since like form 3, form 4 tp time tu life kat kedah, pelik sikit la
and things not turn over quite well between us..
pas tu i got a bf and never heard bout him especially pas SPM sbb masing2 bawak diri masing2 untill end of 2008..
myspace menemukan kami... tukar no phone, then start calling each other n smsing and then kami meet up, as along lost fwen and happy together..
the CRUSH feelings is still there but not that storng, lebih kepada happy jumpa kawan sekampung di KUL and i meet him near to his place wif his buddy, kami lepak smpai pagi jugak la coz i meet hima fter work n luckily on friday so he send me home after we all hang up smpai melawat Danau kota that nite..
then if i pass his office or his place i will give him a call and we will meet up together n hv lunch or dinner or what so ever, more over both of us r single that time so hang out like crazy, huhu
same as him if he pass my place or my office at the rite time he will gv us a call n we wil, hang out..
than things start turning up side down, for me is more 2 jiwa kacau, things happen, balik kedah for a while.. almost 03 month jugak la lepak kedah sbb a lot of things happen at that time..
but still xpnah putus contact between us...
and at one time, i hv interview at KUL and entah cmne he also in AOR so we decide to balik KUL bersama.. things r so sweet but we forget one thing, how close we are we still a guy and a girl...
so we reach the point that when we cross the border as fwen but the things is both of us still not ready at that time so berlaku konflik jiwa for both of us
then i move back to KUL start new life and everything and he pay me a visit at that time..
and suddenly he went MIA, i just like crazy miss him n try 2 reach him but no answer still i wait for him..
i cry fewer time but he call me on my bufday and tell me few things and try to make me clear and then when MIA again..
one sweet guy enter my life, he gv me all that i ever wanted, and im so lucky coz i meet him and things work out so fine between us... my enchek shayunk..
then sudenly out of no where, this guy appear again n asking me if we can start over again, and makes me so complicated inside...
i confuseddddddddd uhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ='(

hello again.....

2010-04-26T15:58:00.002+08:00

ok, its such a long time im not updating at all my blog especially since i lost my lappy...
here is it..
im back here..
there's alot of thing happen to me....
hahahahaha...
well, tell u what... senentiasa feeling xbetul especially sekarang...
rse job yg buat skrg cannot make me feel happy, looking for a better job, good paid n leh travel sne sini..
the truth is sgt nyesal k amek tourism because i cant go anywhere beside travel line n i just so freakin hate it rite now...
sebut je travel sume org akn terbayang, luxurious, travel there n here, happening life, njoy but the truth is its suck, trust me...
life yg xbest langsung travel line ni, bukan sume dapat peluang travel here n there n bukan dapat gaji bnyak pun ciput je, gaji bdk diploma holder lagi besorrr, seyes wa cakap lu...
nk je ckp, i nk better life wif better paid, uwaaaaaa!
nk smbung study lagik uhukk... owh what should i do seyes i want to be the person i wish to be..
i want job yg bukan hanya stay in office but travel here n there and sambil2 tu i nk menyumbangkan sesuatu pada masyarakat.....
aduhhhhh! helppp!!! huhuhuhu seyes menchiii life sekarang, umo makin meningkat tp i hv nuthing in life, if nk masuk travel agency, xyah de degree pn xpe buang masa je, baik masuk pas spm, keje elok2 je, kompem pas u guys de exprience, senang je nk demand gaji dr sehelai degree yg xleh demand langsung!!!! travel line sux!!!!!! hahahahahahaha

me =)

2009-09-28T14:20:00.005+08:00

perhaps perhaps perhaps

2009-09-19T02:38:00.005+08:00

Every time you tell me about her
how shes hurt you so much
how she's keep come and go in your life
but still, you love her
Every time I'll be there for you
light's up ur day
And makes you smile
and every single time i shout out in my heart
I'm not ur dream girl but I swear I just want u 2 b happy
I swear I'll take good care of you..
we're friends, that's for sure
you always be there for me no matter what
and i also be there for you my dear
but once, we already across our boundaries as friends,
regret?
I'm not sure...
even i keep myself from you but i can't lie to myself
i start falling for you
I start to love you more and more
more then just a friend..
how should i tell you this is all about?
how should i tell you, ur the one I've been waiting for?
being wif u is what i want to be...

perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

i lost a friend

2009-07-20T23:50:00.002+08:00

i lost a friend
when he said don't try 2 find him anymore..
i lost a friend
when he found out the part of me that I've been hiding from him
i know i never be honest with him most of the time
but I'm afraid i might lost him
but i lost him, forever
how I'm suppose to show you,
I've change if you never gave me a chance?

LIFE IS FULL OF WONDERS

2009-04-23T12:54:00.002+08:00

Life is a world of wonderslife is sandy
life is lonelylife can also be full of different activities.
life is caringlife is hatredlife is always full of mysteries
life is full lovelife is full of up and downs
life is mischief
life is entertaininglife is curiouslifeis full of uderstanding
life is hopelife is sometimes full of hopelessness
life is full of different crimes like stealing, killing..
well life is always interesting

first of the year

2009-04-22T15:11:00.001+08:00

its been such a long2 time i havent write anything..
well, not much to write actually..
i just wondering around wif my life try 2 back on track..
hahahah..
well, im back..
i guess..
=)

+++ wHeN | fEe| |0sT +++

2008-08-04T23:39:00.003+08:00

When I feel lost, sad and lonely

I usually stood at the end of the road

Looking at the light by the road

The cars that passing by,

I stood still, wondering…

With all the complicated feeling in my mind,

With all the memories that come and go in my mind,

I wonder about everything..

As I stood still,

I feel like wanted to cry,

By the end of the road,

I see the light and it started to change in a second..

During dawn, I’m holding my hope and dreams with me,

Still stay stood until I didn’t realize

How time already passed me by

I’m think I’m moving

But in the end I’ve gone no where..

Sometime’s I wonder,

Why I have to grown up?

Why I have to be a grown up?

Have to hide my true feelings…

When I started to realize all this,

I also realize how time passed me by..

The sun light up my bedroom window,

I couldn’t believe it already morning,

Realize that I’m under the beautiful sunlight,

So warm and tender..

Feels like I’ve been giving a second chance

To create my life like I always wanted to do..

Ya Allah,

Make me peace at heart

Forever and ever..

lately neh cm idea ader je nk menulis..
so faa menulis la sepuas ati faa
=)

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ tHaNx g0d |m sT|lL |n |0vE w|f U +++

2008-08-04T10:49:00.003+08:00

i love him more than i love myself..
and still. i still keep on loving you..
even u hurt me more n more..
even most of the people force me to stop loving you but still..
yet, im still in love wif u..
u are the first guy dat i ever fall for..
i fall for u because of what u are..
and whai i am when im with u..
dear my so called b,
for the first time ever i really thankful because im so deepli,
madly in love wif u..
because of my feelings,
it avoid me to have an affair wif a married guy..
he come into my life..
so sweet n wonderful,
just like u..
even his name is same as u are..
the way he act and everything..
i started to dating again..
even i keep on dating u lately..
i kno u juz used me but its ok wif me then..
but i told u im gonna watch muvee wif u and he just say careful,
dun hurt ur self again dear..
and i never notice he already married..
and i've found out from himself
he's married wif three kids,
thanx god im not fall for him..
and thanx 2 u, u make me fall in lurve wif u..
and because my feelings are so strong,
it avoide me to fall for him..
so,
ill kep on loving u more n more..
until my feeling fore u fade away..

+++ A Song Of A Young Lady To Her Ancient Lover +++

2008-05-04T10:05:00.001+08:00

Ancient Person, for who I am
All the flattering youth defy,
Long be it ere thou grow old,
Aching, shaking, crazy cold;
But still continue as thou art,

Ancient Person of my heart.
On thy withered lips adn dry,
Which like baren furrows lie,
Brooding kisses I will pour,
Shall thy youthful heat restore,
Such kind show'rs in autumn fall,
And a second spring recall;
Nor from thee will ever part,
Ancient Person of my heart.

Thy nobler parts, which but to name,
In our sex world be counted shame,
By age's frozen graps posset,
From their ice shall be relesed,
And, soothed by my reving hand,
In former warmth and vigour stand.

All a lover's wish can reach,
For thy joy my love shall teach;
And for the plesure shall improve.

All the art can add to love.
Yes still i love thee without art,
Ancient Person of my heart.

~ JOHN WILMOT, EARL OF ROCHESTER ~

+++ |f u l0vEd s0mEonE u'vE g0T t0 |eaRn t0 LeT thEm g0 +++

2008-04-29T21:11:00.005+08:00

there are time in my life
when i open my eyes and there you are
u were more than a dream
i can reach u and touch u boy
and that was long ago
there are something
that i guess i never know
when u love someone
u got to learn to let them go
when i dream about u
dats when everything all right
you here in my arms
here next to me, forever
when i dream about u,
boy u never go away
i just cloce my eyes and wait for my dream
because i still lost, loving you...
how can i get u to see
dat im falling apart since u been gone
i can never be sure
i cant never let go
your love is much too strong
there are something
that i guess i never know
when u love someone
u got to learn to let them go

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ aFteR tHe 1sT paPeR +++

2008-04-22T15:53:00.003+08:00

my fisrt paper for diz sem is research methodology..
damn im so scare for diz subject start from the begining of diz sem coz itsss ssoooooooooo scary..
but alhamdulillah after the paper i feel more relief..
hope 2 morrow paper will be much much more better..
da la lec aku tuh kelekut markah..
huhuhuhuhu..
pray for me my fwen..
=)

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ | neEd hE|p heRE +++

2008-04-21T08:44:00.005+08:00

april 18th,
i meet my x infront of top shop klcc at 1808..
he come from work wearing blue shirt and black slack..
we walk together and spent our time together..
we talked alot about or life not our end up relationship alot..
boy, he still makes me nerve, and still i want him so bad in my life..
i still kept thinking, am i doing a stupid mistake meeting him like this?
yes, i hurt my self more and more..
so we talk all day long..
and he talk alot..
including his regrets loosing his x..
the same thing he done to me, he also do to his x..
futher more, shes so much stronger than me..
im not mad when he says he still love her even shes already engaged to a very nice guy..
i just felt a jelousy im my heart..
keep thinking what am i doing here?
but i kno shes a great women..
i pray for her happiness..
stupid am i?
and as we talk i still cannot kill the feeling for him in my heart..
actually i want to make it over as it will be our last meeting but,
hard 2 tell coz i even thinking more n more bout him now..

april 20th, 0000, his house
im standing in front of his house
with a birthday cake n a birthday present..
i drove alone from shah alam to sentul..
stupid again?
hehehehehehe..
what i got for it? nuthin..
i even hurt my self even more n more..
he's already assleep at the moment i arrived at his house..
his housemate called him and juz wif boxer and t shirt,
he came out and i juz give him the cake and the bufday present..
he juz give me a kiss by cheek..
hmm..
but its hurt my self more n more..
i return home at 0222 and direct pick up his pic and throw somehere that hard for me to reach it and there a letter from him dat always hang over my board..
i put it in my files and i didnt remember which part of it i put it..
but when i sat alone i still cannot stop thinking bout him..
even now, hes still on my mind..
what am i suppose 2 do..
help me..
i still love him more n more but i kno were not belong together anymore..
help me.. please..
help me..
i cannot control my life, my feelings and i cannot concentrate my life..
even during my study time he's still on my mind..
help me..
help me someone...

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ SavE mE +++

2008-04-02T17:44:00.003+08:00

i think i want to wrote sumthin today but still dun hv any idea
my life doin great lately..
i guess avoiding 'it' is really a good action and solution after all
its about 2 weeks more before my final starts..
have to gave all out during the study week..
chaiyok chaiyok faa!!
u can do it gurl..
i want to prove than i am much more better than dat sucker..
i will have much more better life after my graduation because im much more better than him..
and his slut huhuhuhuhu..
but erything turn out so fine lately..
alhamdulilah..
last nite my best buddy, emah have a very private chat..
1st its all about her and didios, her bf..
and when turn to me..
she said im not who i am lately..
i trying to be somebody..
am i?
i kno i quite rude n selfish lately but am i try 2 be sombody..
she says im change alot..
even im much more prettier than before but my cute is already gone..
vanish somehow..
am i?
i always fake my smile these past few month
even when i try 2 smile from my heart..
it dosent work anymore...
i still crying from the bottom of my heart..
still suffer from the broken heart..
i change b name from ejard evil to cruel heart breaker in my name list
he is cruel all right..
i wish i just like him.. very strong and frank...
but still remember about him all the time..
y? hate to be in love again...
the feeling is hurt so damn much..
is diz love suppose to be huh?
crush + feelings=love but end up ruin my own life and almost ruin my future..
is diz what love is all about?
could someone tell me what love is all about..
i dun feel any good feelings bout love
i just feel the pain and the sorrow..
duh hate it..
i wanna be my self again..
the sweet fariza i used 2 b..
i wanna be me again..
i dun wanna be hot i just wanna be cute..
help me someone,
help me anybody..
just save me..
anyway, wish me luck for my final..
do pray for my victory my fellow fwens..

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ wHaT a Bz dAy +++

2008-03-31T12:19:00.001+08:00

its about a few week i dosent post anything on my blog..
been so damn bz the whole week but i like the way when im so bz...
i started on last week,
ive been bz wif my class n on fri, i go to pwtc, the tourism library on 24th floor..
return book and do some research bout cuti-cuti malaysia campaign, then haded bck to shAH alam..
arrived at shah alm at about 7.20 then i hv 2 get ready 4 the dinner..
my fwen, ayu n de pick me up aroun 8.40
we haded to nailis sentul and hv dinner there
its such a fun when hang out all wif girls only..
as usual that mr ee try to get kno me better..
and everytime i go there he usually ask me the same question..
then after dinner we haded back to shah alm n arrived at about 130 am in the morning..
the nex day, i already arrive at my faculty b4 8 in the morinng for PD seminar
and the damn bowring seminar is held until 5++ pm..
im so tired and damn boring during the seminar..
after that had a discussion at dc around 8.30 Pm and lasted around 11 pm
direct go back to my house and fall asleep after i hv a very good hot bath..
then the nex day i hv 2 be at in front of college seroja b4 730 pm
i gave my name for volunteer zoo negara..
its fun after all even a little bit tired...
but i like to do these kind of job..
actually its the 1st time i go to zoo negara..
its such a very exciting experience..
i go to sani coner for the char koew teaw for my dinner..
then have a long long sleep after that..
i dun kno y but i like been bz like diz..
its make me not think about none sens thing alot..
but still, when im on the way bck 2 shah alam from zoo,
passing by bndar tasik pemaisuri, cheras..
i still think bout him..
when im at pwtc, he still on my mind all the time
and when i have dinner at nailis, i think about him more
especially when im looking at those tables and chairs,
that we use 2 sit when we are apart of each other b4..
dear so called b,
i want to confess i miss you so much..
but i will get over u one fine day..
i started to go out seriously on a date..
dun want to flirt around anymore..
even i still not found the right one yet but
i will get over u..
but in the mean time, i miss u so much..

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ c|uE|eSs +++

2008-03-21T16:17:00.003+08:00

it's quite a while im not post anything..
im totally clueless..
dun kno what am i suppose 2 write..
ermm well..
last nite i have a dream..
i meet him in my dream
well maybe because i miss him so bad lately
what i can say is i miss him more n more..
hehehe quite stupid am i?
but its ok coz diz is my true feeling..
im not pretending or hiding it..
its not a sins rite if we missed someone so bad?
i juz miss him and dats it..
i usually want 2 meet him so damn bad
but if i had a chance 2 meet him
i usually clueless
both of us dun say a word
just stare at our drinks or watch the tv
weird huh..
i feel so good beside him..
i just miss him so bad..
and still miss him..
i miss u, my so called b..
=)

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ aS wHaT | fEe| rItE n0W +++

2008-03-17T12:20:00.002+08:00

as when i sat in front of my lap top..
wondering what am i suppose 2 rite..
i dun contact him for half a month rite now..
dun kno how he is
his situation juz hopin he'll be fine in his own way
and praying he's happy wif his life
i already cn handle my feelings but dun kno y
lately, it seem like im started miss him so damn much..
i feel so alone n damn board
all the boys i went out wif cannot compare 2 u
even some of them are much better then u
but still ur in my heART and my mind
suddenly i miss u so damn much
i see our pic when is standin wif my smillin happy face
nex 2 u
i missed the good old days
and i missed u so dmn much
i missed the moment when we are one
i missed u,, b...
i hate about the things that weve been through
i hate everythin that ruin our lurve, our relationship
we're so hot in lurve n so happy 2gether
n suddenly happen..
i hate it
i cannot focus on my life n its ruin my life more n more
i really need u by my side...
i miss u b...
i miss u so damn much..
now i realized, i only want u..
not anyone else..
i miss u b..
miss u damn much..

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ kUa|a KaNgsAr +++

2008-03-16T21:16:00.004+08:00

on 14,15 n 16th of march
me n my classmate go to kuala kangsar..
we decided to do water rafting for our sport n leisure subject..
apart from uitm shah alam aroun 9 am and arrive there around 1 pm..
having the famous laksa kuala kangsar,
me + teq + mas n wyn quite surprised the price of the laksa there..
rm 1.50 per bowl.. very2 cheap..
then we hading to sg perak resort..
at 4.30 pm we walking to the JPS center to learn how to built raft frm bamboo
its really hard 2 build n i started 2 imagine hows life very2 tuf in the old days
when people used river as the main road..
how they live their daily life, carrying things all around and ,many more..
thanx god i dun live in that era..
we all divided into group of 6-8
my group which are iwan ( the leader ) + rose + sha + faa =) + awe + mas + lin
we finised built our bamboo raft around 730++ pm
then we haded 2 kuala kangsar town for dinner
there's an expo there so we all walking around and shoppin a lil bit..
quit enjoyble when all of us stick 2gether even in different group..
the nex day we start our activity at 730 am in the morning
after breakfas we do the water confident
try 2 kno bout the sg perak 1st..
then we stark our activity rafting the whole 12km at sg perak
quit fun, challenging, tuff, enjoyble n stressfull
but it quite an experience
hv 2 kno the rite way to take
hv 2 follow the river flow n damn its very hot dat day..
i get the sun burn so damn worst!!!
my group won the rm50 bet..
we are the last group but we arrive no 3
its quit enjoyable when we race the whole way
quite challenging..
after dat we hading to the waterfall by truck..
such a long time since i go to waterfall..
hv lunch there also..
hading back to the jps i fall asleep on the bus
even when we suppose to visited the labu sayong place
most of us still sleeping in the bus, damn tired after all..
having bbq that nite
most of us still tired and juz eat a lil only
the nex day we having our berakfast at kuala kangsar lil town
then walk around the market
quite big
hehehehehhehe
buy some stuff as souvenirs..
then hading back 2 shah alam around 10 am
water rafting..
i want 2 do it another time but i hate the sun..
easily get burn..

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ MoWnIN +++

2008-03-13T07:58:00.003+08:00

diz mornin wake up early as usual..
i said early bcoz i wake up b4 my alarm clock starts ringing at 630 am
hmm still cannot hv a very good sleep
help me somebody huhuhuhuhuhu
my f0od class cancel.. my lec not feelin well..
i have a damn worst migrain last nite..
never hv damn worst like dat b4..
im at extreame park that time just come back from kl
doin my research at TUDM golf and country club
hv to go through to all he damn jammed especially at sogo area
because i miss the 1st turn
after dat me n my classmate hv our meal at around 6 pm
at kg baru
730 pm direct go back to shah alam and
facing the serious damn jammed at the federal
i direct go to the extrema park after i send my classmate to their home
at extrema park 1st time i go to the pain ball area..
damn big!!! like shah said we can play the combat game there
surely fun.. the dudes set up for the flying fox there
there got 2 programe 2day, one at bukit cherakah n another one at
the extream park itself
after having dinner wif the fella at mnz bukit jelutong
hading back to shah alam and i hv the damn migrain
the panadol actifast didnt work anymore
my migrain gettin serious diz previous days dun kno y
thanx god all my fwen r wif me at dat time
to mat duih: thanx coz understan even u PAW me chicken mcdeluxe
to shah : thanx for the tandori
to didos : m not miss him la i juz miss the moment when i hv somebody by my side n than 4 the cute paper bag.. wachaaa!!!!
to aan : thanx bcoz concern even u just kno me at that time
to apit : thanx for the massage and its really work.. kesian kat emah + didos + apit abes sume angis pas ngurut aku huahahahahahaha...
to emah : thanx muh darling, im damn lost wifout u.. thanx coz follow me to do muh research ..didos suke usik aku warghh.. geram kt bf ang...
to barai : thanx 4 the anuar zain cd
to others that i still dun remember the name: thanx coz concern

~ Erza Ibrahim ~

+++ NuTh|n mUcH +++

2008-03-12T08:16:00.003+08:00

lately i dun kno y
but seriously i dun get enough sleep for the past few week
damn its really killin me coz i dun have enough rest n
feelin tired the whole day
maybe because of the damn situation had happen lately
i love my little world so much so i can write anything i like
maybe diz is a new way to reducing stress..
wake up early diz mornin -early from usual la =) -
wondering theres so many thing i need to settle and
a lot of work waiting for me
but still like to do last minute work
like to work under pressure
y? dun kno maybe its the culture in uitm
my best buddy still sleepin rite now
dun kno she has class or not
hrmmm.. as usual im kind miss someone
maybe i have to find someone to be by my side
the lonely feelin is already gone
it just the feelin needed somebody by my side
someone that can take care of me
be by my side when im down
call me n tex me sumtime
watchin muvee + chill out together doin thing together n many more
maybe the time has come and i need to open my heart
to a new life story i guess
what happen lately really make me learn a lesson
always treasure people when they are around
i dun want to hv the feelin always realize how much i need
a person when there not by my side anymore
so start a day wif a smile now
gambatte ne!!!!
=)

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ a sad story on valentine's day +++

2008-03-12T00:40:00.004+08:00

a sad story on valentine's day
i know him one day before valentine's
and confirm being friend with him on valentine's day..
his a valentine's friend..
we start as a close friend, he's so sweet, nice and gentle
i can talk whatever i want with him even somthing that i cannot tell my bestfriend, i told him
and his a very good listener
im like a little girl that time
i dont know when i started to like him
and i'm glad because he like me too
and we fall foe each other
a day without him, im facing an emptyness in my life
i'm lost without him
with him, i can smile from my heart
i can show everyone my true smile
i dont know when i stated to like and love him more and more and i love him more then i love myself
but still, im the one who create problem
i, myself a little trouble maker
naughty and flirty and i start to create problem in our realationship
and i, still always talk too much and sometimes
i even talk something that unnecessary thing to unrelated people
i blew and screw everything
i hurt him, his feelings
i lost him by my harsh words and stupid and foolish act
i've try to ask him to forgive me
but it's quite to late
because i've hurt him so bad
he push me far away from his life
i lost him, forever
because i know he's is a no turning back type
even sometime, it's also hurt him
now, im here, alone, this valentine's, without him, without his love
i wish i could turn back time and do thing right
i wish i shouldn't done what i have done
i wish he know my true feeling for him
i wish he could know how much i love him, more then i love myself
i wish he could know how i'm trebly sorry for all the things i've done
i wish he knew i still love him like before
i wish he's here with me on valentine's day
im sorry
im sorry
im sorryfor me he's really a great guy n i never ever gonna find someone like him anymore in my life

Joy Enriquez - Losin' The Love
There are days when i regret it
The things I said to you
I put my trust in no one
It broke my heart and i blamed it on you
You were kind and oh so gentle
But I refused to see
That someone like you existed
I was somewhere in denial
While you were loving me
CHORUS:
I cried myself to sleep last night
When I woke up
There were tear stains on my pillow
It hust so much to sacrifice what i gave up
Without you in my life
I will always feel lonely
Losing the love
From someone like you
Not a day goes by without something
Reminding me of you
The truth is that I miss you
It gets so hard not being with you
There are times when I go crazy
In the twilight of the night
How I long to be your woman again
There's pain that I hold
That will not let me go
CHORUS:
I cried myself to sleep last night
When I woke up
There were tear stains on my pillow
It hust so much to sacrifice what i gave up
Without you in my life
I will always feel lonely
Losing the love
From someone like you
BRIDGE:
I don't wanna make this too hard
But I just wanna be where you are
In your life, by your side, forever
CHORUS:
I cried myself to sleep last night
When I woke up
There were tear stains on my pillow
It hust so much to sacrifice what i gave up
Without you in my life
I will always feel lonely
Losing the love
From someone like you

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

i suppose 2 post diz on valentine's day but i juz post it in my fs blog..
=)

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ fEe|ingS +++

2008-03-11T23:09:00.004+08:00

as i sat in fron of my lap top
wondering about my life
i didnt go to class 2day coz dun feelin well
maybe still tired bcoz im travel from my hometown, alor star to sg petani then to kuala ketil
visit apit house
i never knew how his real life was until i visited him yesterday
meet his grandfather,mother n sister, kak peanut n nurul
go to his house n wonder how everything there before
then we depart from his house about 9pm after having dinner
had back 2 shah alam
i got a very serius migrain dat nite n fall asleep after im takin my pills..
but not really fall asslep coz a stupid slut n sucker distrubing my life more and more
take him..
i dun want him anymore
a man who willing to swear using al-quran n in front of his parent
because he refuse if the truth appear, afraid everything concider gone
i dun want a man like that in my life..
what for?
he cannot protect me and i dun hv any respect for him
after what he did 2 me
after he ruin my life n my new relationship
i dun hate him coz i dun like hating people but still..
i cannot forgive him and hoping he have a great life wif his freak queen control gf
huh.. never heard a gf who keep his bf credit card and atm card
keep her bf phone and everything
can u imagine dat?
dun hv any privacy hahahahha
never did that stupid thing when im wif him
im not a queen control
u and ur gf are the same ang belong together
pity on u coz she says she proud coz a 24 yr old men knee down on her coz wanting her so bad
he already done the same drama to me
even worst
he once waited for me the whole nite in front of my house coz i refuse to c him
what happen 2 u dude?
where r ur ego n proud?
u lost to a 20 yr old kid...
pity on u..
and u stupid slut..
ur so damn rude n u desrve him..
i guess its to late when u kno the truth..
urghh stop talking bout those two freak coz they make everybody life complicated
continue my story..
poor apit coz me, emah n jan sleep most of the way and he drive alone
we reach shah alam at about 3am
im sooooo dmn tired and my bck hurt
when im all alone in my hose today
i keep thinking
i miss someone but i dun kno who
i try to think bout ejard, my x
usually i miss him a lot
but i dun kno his face is started to fade away..
alhamdulillah coz i really need to get over him
i waited for someone like him in my entire life
but someone ruin our relationship
thats fine coz maybe i will fine someone better
like his x says 2 me
juz leave him coz hes sux! i can tell u dat. ur still young,
pretty somemore. u will find someone who r much more better then him..
is he sux? y i like him so dmn much n like crazeee fall in lurve wif him?
y i always fall in love wif jerk?
hehehhehehehehh poor me
having a solo life that i never have in past 7 years
at 1st its really hard coz i really need someone 2 guide me
and told me what do and dont
but as a solo i have to be more independent and more brave
sometime its quite enjoyble coz nobody will get angry
and u can be naughty and flirty as much as u want
but still..
sumtime i miss someone by my side
thanx god i hv my babes wif me
i will suffer more if they not by my side
i must stick wif u guys forever
hehehehehe..
lurve and hapiness
i wanted someone rite now but my heart doesnt open 2 anyone yet
so someone caring, charming, hot, cute n can guide me out there
save me from diz loneliness
heheheheheh
what am i doin rite now actually..?
well sumtime the best way to express ur feelings is through writting
and dats what im doing..

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ tHe Mem0r|eS +++

2008-03-11T18:19:00.004+08:00

for the past few day back at my hometown..
i dun kno y but when i cycling around my neigbourhood
passing my primary school, SKTU, all the memory come back to me
how i go to scholl walking and cycling
how my parent send me at school when its raining heavily
how pn kaur force me to memorize al the pharese along the coridor
how pn hasnah throw the maths book at my face bcoz i forgot to finish my homework
i remember miss heng when i in standart 2 shes so cute always walking around the school wif her umbrella, she my class teacher
i miss zaki, he used 2 sit beside me in class, very humble
and the one who introduce me to comix world
the 1st comix i read is dendam kesumat
still rmember bout it.. he moved to SK Tmn Rakayt when we in standart 4 since then,
never heard from him anymore..
i remember haideel n amir..
amir live next door and haideel is 3 door frm my house
we used to hang out 2gether
haidell always report to my mum about my behaviour
and it always end up wif 'rotan panjang' from my dad
haideel more like a leader
amir much more polite and humble
always smile and always follow..
and im such a cry baby that time, untill now i guess hehehehheh
even three of us are not from the same class
but every recess we will hv meal together
climbing trees 2gether,
go fishing, cycling and playing ninja turtles together
haideel moved to KL when im in standart 5 and amir moved to kelantan when im in standartd 6
i never heard news from them since they moved
i also moved from my house but still in the same neighbourhood
im started to be fwen wif girls when haideel not around
when im at the end of standart 4 or 5 i guess
my fwen dat time is farah aida, faradina, intan sarah, rashiqah, roshaniza+emah( diz 2 been playin wif me since all of us age 4 i guess), suhairah, nurul niza, and lots more
but most of them are out from my radar
when i have my 1st crush on boys
im in standart 5..
still remeber that boy name
mohd hazwan hassan
heheheheheh stupid, very stupid at that time
what actually happen 2 him i never kno
he's not there when we had our reunion
if he'll be at the reunion
boy, surely im out of words when thinking how everyone kno i had a crush on him =)
hmm..
boy i miss all the fun i had when i was a kid
and i miss my long lost fwen so much
cycling is very good
bring back all the memory hehehehhehehhehe
=)

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++ D0wH +++

2008-03-04T12:25:00.003+08:00

i recently cannot control my emotion and temper.
dun kno why..
i try 2 control it but it seem 2 b very hard lately..
yesterday i almost shout out at my housemate
im so sorry but i really am try 2 control my temper
but i just cannot do it..
my migrain seem to getting worst lately..
hate it..
urghh..
with all the probs come n go..
wif my study
wif my complicated personal life..
sometime i juz seem cannot handle it nmore
huh really hate it..
wargghhhh
halp me..
somebody..
anybody...

- Erza Ibrahim -

+++congrats+++

2008-03-02T08:44:00.002+08:00

yesterday my faculty are having a hotel tourism internasional carnival...
internasional is for the 1st time..
combine student from malaysia + thailand + indonesia..
so my class are handling food exibition..
we're representing food from negeri 9..
masakan minag + masakan perayaan n9 + kuih muih traditional + lauk pauk
everybody wear the minag outfit..
i borrow from ziah.. dun hv any hehehehe
and the preparation quite hard coz hv 2 go to do researh at n9..
class with class n also hv 2 submit take away test n assg..
but thanx god we make it..
even most of us did not hv enough sleep
and even me didnt sleep at all o the nite b4 the event..
*actually hv personal prob dat time.. heheheheheh..
but we make it..
and through all the hard work..
we make it..
and the best part is when the faculty anounce the winner,
no one go to get the prize n nobody frm my group kno about it..
most of us gi to pass up our assg n take away test..
thanx god my fwe, meera was there..
she call me while im at my house printing my assg.. heheheheh...
so i call hana and told her bout our victory..
everybody just scream out loud..
wish i was there to scream out loud wif them.. =)
congratsss to my group, n9 group..
+ kak anies + kak nisha + razie + zie + ayu + de + faa =) + akif + hana + wawa + nor +shaf +
we're rocks!!!!!!!!
=)

++ don't tell me it's over +++

2008-02-29T23:28:00.002+08:00

We had a good love.
It lasted for a while.
It brought joy and laughter,
then took away my smile.
For you were my first real love.
How could we be seperated?
Everyday I tried to remember.
Were there any mistakes?
Can you tell me what made us go our seperate ways?
Let me know,Why?
Our love faded away.
I thought our feelings were strong.
But was I wrong?
After all the time we spent,
Have you forgotten what our love meant?
Don't tell me it's over.
You wanna be just friends.
Do you remember what our love meant?
Can we start over?
Or is this the end?

++ Erza Ibrahim ++

+++ S0rRy +++

2008-02-29T20:39:00.003+08:00

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry for the times you stress out,

and the loneliness you felt inside.

I'm sorry for the way things were,

and the selfishness that you endured.

I'm sorry for the nights we lost,

and the deep pain it must have cost.

I'm sorry for the love you missed,

losing you helped me realize this.

I'm sorry I wasn't the gurl you deserved,

this has been the hardest lesson learned.

I'm sorry I wasn't there to show,

the deepest love you'll ever know.

I'm sorry for the empty days,

and the stresses that you still yet pay.

I'm sorry for the way I left,

I've never felt so much regret.

I'm sorry for the heart I broke,

that shattered with the words I spoke.

I'm sorry for the empty space,

that laid beside you in my place.

I'm sorry for the empty arms,

you fell into when times were hard.

I'm sorry for the days that passed,

Our love now will surely last.

I'm sorry it took so long to vow,

to love you forever here and now.

- Erza Ibrahim -

stress out

2008-02-29T19:57:00.003+08:00

as i sat in front my lap top
tryin to find the rite words n the rite things
to be written in my blog,
im alone tonite in my house..
all my housemate not in coz they go back to their hometown
emah, my best buddy at kl at her cousin place
they had a wedding tomorrow
usualy i follow her but i can't diz time
2morroy i hv a big event at my fac
hot tour carnival
hv 2 wear tradition dress of negeri sembilan with the damn heavy head gear 2morrow
when i tried it on my head,
i wonder how the princess wear the damn heavy thin all the time
during the acient time?
i cant stand 2 wear it even for a while only
huh hv 2 wear it for several hrs 2morrow, damn!
hope everything fine 2morrow..
damn im starving again n again
lately im kind of sterss
dun hv enough sleep lately
i hv soooooo many work but still
i want to go some where to chill out..
hmm..
but where? n wif who..
my babes not around n some who are here r goin out wif their bf
left me all alone..
sad sad sad..
warghhhh
juz want to cried out loud rite now..

the first one

2008-02-25T23:15:00.004+08:00

today, as usual my class end up at 9.30 p.m
my usual rutin every monday
before diz i dun hv problem wif monday but diz semester
i hate monday...

i just finished making myself a glass of milk,
which has been my must do before i go to sleep
n a peanut butter sandwich
i hv 2 fill up myself before i go to sleep
a lil bit of hungry but dun kno what 2 eat
2day feels really damn tired
hv a lot of work 2 do n very busy week and up coming week

i usually like to rite alot
making poem and all dat stuff in my schools days
but usually its really hard for me to rite..
dun kno y
im kind lost of words
seem like my brain dosent work the way it suppose 2 work nmore

there's a few thing happen lately n i just keep thinking bout it
so as the result i cannot get enough sleep
dats y im damn tired beside my to do work

im hoping that i can wrote as much as i can
beside i can improve my skills of writing back
i also can express how i feel here
like it actually
can pretend i am a writer who have her on collum in the newspaper
and have her own reader fan
hahahahahhahahhahahah
but actually i like 2 do these kind of stuff..
so, y am i doing taking tourism management all diz time huh?

c u soon then

- Erza Ibrahim -