Feelings

as i sat in fron of my lap top
wondering about my life
i didnt go to class 2day coz dun feelin well
maybe still tired bcoz im travel from my hometown, alor star to sg petani then to kuala ketil
visit apit house
i never knew how his real life was until i visited him yesterday
meet his grandfather,mother n sister, kak peanut n nurul
go to his house n wonder how everything there before
then we depart from his house about 9pm after having dinner
had back 2 shah alam
i got a very serius migrain dat nite n fall asleep after im takin my pills..
but not really fall asslep coz a stupid slut n sucker distrubing my life more and more
take him..
i dun want him anymore
a man who willing to swear using al-quran n in front of his parent
because he refuse if the truth appear, afraid everything concider gone
i dun want a man like that in my life..
what for?
he cannot protect me and i dun hv any respect for him
after what he did 2 me
after he ruin my life n my new relationship
i dun hate him coz i dun like hating people but still..
i cannot forgive him and hoping he have a great life wif his freak queen control gf
huh.. never heard a gf who keep his bf credit card and atm card
keep her bf phone and everything
can u imagine dat?
dun hv any privacy hahahahha
never did that stupid thing when im wif him
im not a queen control
u and ur gf are the same ang belong together
pity on u coz she says she proud coz a 24 yr old men knee down on her coz wanting her so bad
he already done the same drama to me
even worst
he once waited for me the whole nite in front of my house coz i refuse to c him
what happen 2 u dude?
where r ur ego n proud?
u lost to a 20 yr old kid...
pity on u..
and u stupid slut..
ur so damn rude n u desrve him..
i guess its to late when u kno the truth..
urghh stop talking bout those two freak coz they make everybody life complicated
continue my story..
poor apit coz me, emah n jan sleep most of the way and he drive alone
we reach shah alam at about 3am
im sooooo dmn tired and my bck hurt
when im all alone in my hose today
i keep thinking
i miss someone but i dun kno who
i try to think bout ejard, my x
usually i miss him a lot
but i dun kno his face is started to fade away..
alhamdulillah coz i really need to get over him
i waited for someone like him in my entire life
but someone ruin our relationship
thats fine coz maybe i will fine someone better
like his x says 2 me
juz leave him coz hes sux! i can tell u dat. ur still young,
pretty somemore. u will find someone who r much more better then him..
is he sux? y i like him so dmn much n like crazeee fall in lurve wif him?
y i always fall in love wif jerk?
hehehhehehehehh poor me
having a solo life that i never have in past 7 years
at 1st its really hard coz i really need someone 2 guide me
and told me what do and dont
but as a solo i have to be more independent and more brave
sometime its quite enjoyble coz nobody will get angry
and u can be naughty and flirty as much as u want
but still..
sumtime i miss someone by my side
thanx god i hv my babes wif me
i will suffer more if they not by my side
i must stick wif u guys forever
hehehehehe..
lurve and hapiness
i wanted someone rite now but my heart doesnt open 2 anyone yet
so someone caring, charming, hot, cute n can guide me out there
save me from diz loneliness
heheheheheh
what am i doin rite now actually..?
well sumtime the best way to express ur feelings is through writting
and dats what im doing..

- Erza Ibrahim -