When I feel lost

When I feel lost, sad and lonely

I usually stood at the end of the road

Looking at the light by the road

The cars that passing by,

I stood still, wondering…

With all the complicated feeling in my mind,

With all the memories that come and go in my mind,

I wonder about everything..

As I stood still,

I feel like wanted to cry,

By the end of the road,

I see the light and it started to change in a second..

During dawn, I’m holding my hope and dreams with me,

Still stay stood until I didn’t realize

How time already passed me by

I’m think I’m moving

But in the end I’ve gone no where..

Sometime’s I wonder,

Why I have to grown up?

Why I have to be a grown up?

Have to hide my true feelings…

When I started to realize all this,

I also realize how time passed me by..

The sun light up my bedroom window,

I couldn’t believe it already morning,

Realize that I’m under the beautiful sunlight,

So warm and tender..

Feels like I’ve been giving a second chance

To create my life like I always wanted to do..

Ya Allah,

Make me peace at heart

Forever and ever..

- Erza Ibrahim -

A Song Of A Young Lady To Her Ancient Lover

Ancient Person, for who I am
All the flattering youth defy,
Long be it ere thou grow old,
Aching, shaking, crazy cold;
But still continue as thou art,

Ancient Person of my heart.
On thy withered lips adn dry,
Which like baren furrows lie,
Brooding kisses I will pour,
Shall thy youthful heat restore,
Such kind show'rs in autumn fall,
And a second spring recall;
Nor from thee will ever part,
Ancient Person of my heart.

Thy nobler parts, which but to name,
In our sex world be counted shame,
By age's frozen graps posset,
From their ice shall be relesed,
And, soothed by my reving hand,
In former warmth and vigour stand.

All a lover's wish can reach,
For thy joy my love shall teach;
And for the plesure shall improve.

All the art can add to love.
Yes still i love thee without art,
Ancient Person of my heart.

~ JOHN WILMOT, EARL OF ROCHESTER ~

If you love someone, you got to learn to let them go

there are time in my life
when i open my eyes and there you are
u were more than a dream
i can reach u and touch u boy
and that was long ago
there are something
that i guess i never know
when u love someone
u got to learn to let them go
when i dream about u
dats when everything all right
you here in my arms
here next to me, forever
when i dream about u,
boy u never go away
i just cloce my eyes and wait for my dream
because i still lost, loving you...
how can i get u to see
dat im falling apart since u been gone
i can never be sure
i cant never let go
your love is much too strong
there are something
that i guess i never know
when u love someone
u got to learn to let them go

- Erza Ibrahim -

After the first paper

my fisrt paper for diz sem is research methodology..
damn im so scare for diz subject start from the begining of diz sem coz itsss ssoooooooooo scary..
but alhamdulillah after the paper i feel more relief..
hope 2 morrow paper will be much much more better..
da la lec aku tuh kelekut markah..
huhuhuhuhu..
pray for me my fwen..
=)

- Erza Ibrahim -

Save me, please...

i think i want to wrote sumthin today but still dun hv any idea
my life doin great lately..
i guess avoiding 'it' is really a good action and solution after all
its about 2 weeks more before my final starts..
have to gave all out during the study week..
chaiyok chaiyok faa!!
u can do it gurl..
i want to prove than i am much more better than dat sucker..
i will have much more better life after my graduation because im much more better than him..
and his slut huhuhuhuhu..
but erything turn out so fine lately..
alhamdulilah..
last nite my best buddy, emah have a very private chat..
1st its all about her and didios, her bf..
and when turn to me..
she said im not who i am lately..
i trying to be somebody..
am i?
i kno i quite rude n selfish lately but am i try 2 be sombody..
she says im change alot..
even im much more prettier than before but my cute is already gone..
vanish somehow..
am i?
i always fake my smile these past few month
even when i try 2 smile from my heart..
it dosent work anymore...
i still crying from the bottom of my heart..
still suffer from the broken heart..
i change b name from ejard evil to cruel heart breaker in my name list
he is cruel all right..
i wish i just like him.. very strong and frank...
but still remember about him all the time..
y? hate to be in love again...
the feeling is hurt so damn much..
is diz love suppose to be huh?
crush + feelings=love but end up ruin my own life and almost ruin my future..
is diz what love is all about?
could someone tell me what love is all about..
i dun feel any good feelings bout love
i just feel the pain and the sorrow..
duh hate it..
i wanna be my self again..
the sweet fariza i used 2 b..
i wanna be me again..
i dun wanna be hot i just wanna be cute..
help me someone,
help me anybody..
just save me..
anyway, wish me luck for my final..
do pray for my victory my fellow fwens..

- Erza Ibrahim -

What A Buzzzyyyyyyyy Day

its about a few week i dosent post anything on my blog..
been so damn bz the whole week but i like the way when im so bz...
i started on last week,
ive been bz wif my class n on fri, i go to pwtc, the tourism library on 24th floor..
return book and do some research bout cuti-cuti malaysia campaign, then haded bck to shAH alam..
arrived at shah alm at about 7.20 then i hv 2 get ready 4 the dinner..
my fwen, ayu n de pick me up aroun 8.40
we haded to nailis sentul and hv dinner there
its such a fun when hang out all wif girls only..
as usual that mr ee try to get kno me better..
and everytime i go there he usually ask me the same question..
then after dinner we haded back to shah alm n arrived at about 130 am in the morning..
the nex day, i already arrive at my faculty b4 8 in the morinng for PD seminar
and the damn bowring seminar is held until 5++ pm..
im so tired and damn boring during the seminar..
after that had a discussion at dc around 8.30 Pm and lasted around 11 pm
direct go back to my house and fall asleep after i hv a very good hot bath..
then the nex day i hv 2 be at in front of college seroja b4 730 pm
i gave my name for volunteer zoo negara..
its fun after all even a little bit tired...
but i like to do these kind of job..
actually its the 1st time i go to zoo negara..
its such a very exciting experience..
i go to sani coner for the char koew teaw for my dinner..
then have a long long sleep after that..
i dun kno y but i like been bz like diz..
its make me not think about none sens thing alot..
but still, when im on the way bck 2 shah alam from zoo,
passing by bndar tasik pemaisuri, cheras..
i still think bout him..
when im at pwtc, he still on my mind all the time
and when i have dinner at nailis, i think about him more
especially when im looking at those tables and chairs,
that we use 2 sit when we are apart of each other b4..
dear so called b,
i want to confess i miss you so much..
but i will get over u one fine day..
i started to go out seriously on a date..
dun want to flirt around anymore..
even i still not found the right one yet but
i will get over u..
but in the mean time, i miss u so much..

- Erza Ibrahim -

Kole Kangsar

on 14,15 n 16th of march
me n my classmate go to kuala kangsar..
we decided to do water rafting for our sport n leisure subject..
apart from uitm shah alam aroun 9 am and arrive there around 1 pm..
having the famous laksa kuala kangsar,
me + teq + mas n wyn quite surprised the price of the laksa there..
rm 1.50 per bowl.. very2 cheap..
then we hading to sg perak resort..
at 4.30 pm we walking to the JPS center to learn how to built raft frm bamboo
its really hard 2 build n i started 2 imagine hows life very2 tuf in the old days
when people used river as the main road..
how they live their daily life, carrying things all around and ,many more..
thanx god i dun live in that era..
we all divided into group of 6-8
my group which are iwan ( the leader ) + rose + sha + faa =) + awe + mas + lin
we finised built our bamboo raft around 730++ pm
then we haded 2 kuala kangsar town for dinner
there's an expo there so we all walking around and shoppin a lil bit..
quit enjoyble when all of us stick 2gether even in different group..
the nex day we start our activity at 730 am in the morning
after breakfas we do the water confident
try 2 kno bout the sg perak 1st..
then we stark our activity rafting the whole 12km at sg perak
quit fun, challenging, tuff, enjoyble n stressfull
but it quite an experience
hv 2 kno the rite way to take
hv 2 follow the river flow n damn its very hot dat day..
i get the sun burn so damn worst!!!
my group won the rm50 bet..
we are the last group but we arrive no 3
its quit enjoyable when we race the whole way
quite challenging..
after dat we hading to the waterfall by truck..
such a long time since i go to waterfall..
hv lunch there also..
hading back to the jps i fall asleep on the bus
even when we suppose to visited the labu sayong place
most of us still sleeping in the bus, damn tired after all..
having bbq that nite
most of us still tired and juz eat a lil only
the nex day we having our berakfast at kuala kangsar lil town
then walk around the market
quite big
hehehehehhehe
buy some stuff as souvenirs..
then hading back 2 shah alam around 10 am
water rafting..
i want 2 do it another time but i hate the sun..
easily get burn..

- Erza Ibrahim -

My Morning

diz mornin wake up early as usual..
i said early bcoz i wake up b4 my alarm clock starts ringing at 630 am
hmm still cannot hv a very good sleep
help me somebody huhuhuhuhuhu
my f0od class cancel.. my lec not feelin well..
i have a damn worst migrain last nite..
never hv damn worst like dat b4..
im at extreame park that time just come back from kl
doin my research at TUDM golf and country club
hv to go through to all he damn jammed especially at sogo area
because i miss the 1st turn
after dat me n my classmate hv our meal at around 6 pm
at kg baru
730 pm direct go back to shah alam and
facing the serious damn jammed at the federal
i direct go to the extrema park after i send my classmate to their home
at extrema park 1st time i go to the pain ball area..
damn big!!! like shah said we can play the combat game there
surely fun.. the dudes set up for the flying fox there
there got 2 programe 2day, one at bukit cherakah n another one at
the extream park itself
after having dinner wif the fella at mnz bukit jelutong
hading back to shah alam and i hv the damn migrain
the panadol actifast didnt work anymore
my migrain gettin serious diz previous days dun kno y
thanx god all my fwen r wif me at dat time
to mat duih: thanx coz understan even u PAW me chicken mcdeluxe
to shah : thanx for the tandori
to didos : m not miss him la i juz miss the moment when i hv somebody by my side n than 4 the cute paper bag.. wachaaa!!!!
to aan : thanx bcoz concern even u just kno me at that time
to apit : thanx for the massage and its really work.. kesian kat emah + didos + apit abes sume angis pas ngurut aku huahahahahahaha...
to emah : thanx muh darling, im damn lost wifout u.. thanx coz follow me to do muh research ..didos suke usik aku warghh.. geram kt bf ang...
to barai : thanx 4 the anuar zain cd
to others that i still dun remember the name: thanx coz concern

~ Erza Ibrahim ~

Nothing Much

lately i dun kno y
but seriously i dun get enough sleep for the past few week
damn its really killin me coz i dun have enough rest n
feelin tired the whole day
maybe because of the damn situation had happen lately
i love my little world so much so i can write anything i like
maybe diz is a new way to reducing stress..
wake up early diz mornin -early from usual la =) -
wondering theres so many thing i need to settle and
a lot of work waiting for me
but still like to do last minute work
like to work under pressure
y? dun kno maybe its the culture in uitm
my best buddy still sleepin rite now
dun kno she has class or not
hrmmm.. as usual im kind miss someone
maybe i have to find someone to be by my side
the lonely feelin is already gone
it just the feelin needed somebody by my side
someone that can take care of me
be by my side when im down
call me n tex me sumtime
watchin muvee + chill out together doin thing together n many more
maybe the time has come and i need to open my heart
to a new life story i guess
what happen lately really make me learn a lesson
always treasure people when they are around
i dun want to hv the feelin always realize how much i need
a person when there not by my side anymore
so start a day wif a smile now
gambatte ne!!!!
=)

- Erza Ibrahim -

Feelings

as i sat in fron of my lap top
wondering about my life
i didnt go to class 2day coz dun feelin well
maybe still tired bcoz im travel from my hometown, alor star to sg petani then to kuala ketil
visit apit house
i never knew how his real life was until i visited him yesterday
meet his grandfather,mother n sister, kak peanut n nurul
go to his house n wonder how everything there before
then we depart from his house about 9pm after having dinner
had back 2 shah alam
i got a very serius migrain dat nite n fall asleep after im takin my pills..
but not really fall asslep coz a stupid slut n sucker distrubing my life more and more
take him..
i dun want him anymore
a man who willing to swear using al-quran n in front of his parent
because he refuse if the truth appear, afraid everything concider gone
i dun want a man like that in my life..
what for?
he cannot protect me and i dun hv any respect for him
after what he did 2 me
after he ruin my life n my new relationship
i dun hate him coz i dun like hating people but still..
i cannot forgive him and hoping he have a great life wif his freak queen control gf
huh.. never heard a gf who keep his bf credit card and atm card
keep her bf phone and everything
can u imagine dat?
dun hv any privacy hahahahha
never did that stupid thing when im wif him
im not a queen control
u and ur gf are the same ang belong together
pity on u coz she says she proud coz a 24 yr old men knee down on her coz wanting her so bad
he already done the same drama to me
even worst
he once waited for me the whole nite in front of my house coz i refuse to c him
what happen 2 u dude?
where r ur ego n proud?
u lost to a 20 yr old kid...
pity on u..
and u stupid slut..
ur so damn rude n u desrve him..
i guess its to late when u kno the truth..
urghh stop talking bout those two freak coz they make everybody life complicated
continue my story..
poor apit coz me, emah n jan sleep most of the way and he drive alone
we reach shah alam at about 3am
im sooooo dmn tired and my bck hurt
when im all alone in my hose today
i keep thinking
i miss someone but i dun kno who
i try to think bout ejard, my x
usually i miss him a lot
but i dun kno his face is started to fade away..
alhamdulillah coz i really need to get over him
i waited for someone like him in my entire life
but someone ruin our relationship
thats fine coz maybe i will fine someone better
like his x says 2 me
juz leave him coz hes sux! i can tell u dat. ur still young,
pretty somemore. u will find someone who r much more better then him..
is he sux? y i like him so dmn much n like crazeee fall in lurve wif him?
y i always fall in love wif jerk?
hehehhehehehehh poor me
having a solo life that i never have in past 7 years
at 1st its really hard coz i really need someone 2 guide me
and told me what do and dont
but as a solo i have to be more independent and more brave
sometime its quite enjoyble coz nobody will get angry
and u can be naughty and flirty as much as u want
but still..
sumtime i miss someone by my side
thanx god i hv my babes wif me
i will suffer more if they not by my side
i must stick wif u guys forever
hehehehehe..
lurve and hapiness
i wanted someone rite now but my heart doesnt open 2 anyone yet
so someone caring, charming, hot, cute n can guide me out there
save me from diz loneliness
heheheheheh
what am i doin rite now actually..?
well sumtime the best way to express ur feelings is through writting
and dats what im doing..

- Erza Ibrahim -

The Memory Lane

for the past few day back at my hometown..
i dun kno y but when i cycling around my neigbourhood
passing my primary school, SKTU, all the memory come back to me
how i go to scholl walking and cycling
how my parent send me at school when its raining heavily
how pn kaur force me to memorize al the pharese along the coridor
how pn hasnah throw the maths book at my face bcoz i forgot to finish my homework
i remember miss heng when i in standart 2 shes so cute always walking around the school wif her umbrella, she my class teacher
i miss zaki, he used 2 sit beside me in class, very humble
and the one who introduce me to comix world
the 1st comix i read is dendam kesumat
still rmember bout it.. he moved to SK Tmn Rakayt when we in standart 4 since then,
never heard from him anymore..
i remember haideel n amir..
amir live next door and haideel is 3 door frm my house
we used to hang out 2gether
haidell always report to my mum about my behaviour
and it always end up wif 'rotan panjang' from my dad
haideel more like a leader
amir much more polite and humble
always smile and always follow..
and im such a cry baby that time, untill now i guess hehehehheh
even three of us are not from the same class
but every recess we will hv meal together
climbing trees 2gether,
go fishing, cycling and playing ninja turtles together
haideel moved to KL when im in standart 5 and amir moved to kelantan when im in standartd 6
i never heard news from them since they moved
i also moved from my house but still in the same neighbourhood
im started to be fwen wif girls when haideel not around
when im at the end of standart 4 or 5 i guess
my fwen dat time is farah aida, faradina, intan sarah, rashiqah, roshaniza+emah( diz 2 been playin wif me since all of us age 4 i guess), suhairah, nurul niza, and lots more
but most of them are out from my radar
when i have my 1st crush on boys
im in standart 5..
still remeber that boy name
mohd hazwan hassan
heheheheheh stupid, very stupid at that time
what actually happen 2 him i never kno
he's not there when we had our reunion
if he'll be at the reunion
boy, surely im out of words when thinking how everyone kno i had a crush on him =)
hmm..
boy i miss all the fun i had when i was a kid
and i miss my long lost fwen so much
cycling is very good
bring back all the memory hehehehhehehhehe
=)

- Erza Ibrahim -

Dowh

i recently cannot control my emotion and temper.
dun kno why..
i try 2 control it but it seem 2 b very hard lately..
yesterday i almost shout out at my housemate
im so sorry but i really am try 2 control my temper
but i just cannot do it..
my migrain seem to getting worst lately..
hate it..
urghh..
with all the probs come n go..
wif my study
wif my complicated personal life..
sometime i juz seem cannot handle it nmore
huh really hate it..
wargghhhh
halp me..
somebody..
anybody...

- Erza Ibrahim -

Congrats!!!!

yesterday my faculty are having a hotel tourism internasional carnival...
internasional is for the 1st time..
combine student from malaysia + thailand + indonesia..
so my class are handling food exibition..
we're representing food from negeri 9..
masakan minag + masakan perayaan n9 + kuih muih traditional + lauk pauk
everybody wear the minag outfit..
i borrow from ziah.. dun hv any hehehehe
and the preparation quite hard coz hv 2 go to do researh at n9..
class with class n also hv 2 submit take away test n assg..
but thanx god we make it..
even most of us did not hv enough sleep
and even me didnt sleep at all o the nite b4 the event..
*actually hv personal prob dat time.. heheheheheh..
but we make it..
and through all the hard work..
we make it..
and the best part is when the faculty anounce the winner,
no one go to get the prize n nobody frm my group kno about it..
most of us gi to pass up our assg n take away test..
thanx god my fwe, meera was there..
she call me while im at my house printing my assg.. heheheheh...
so i call hana and told her bout our victory..
everybody just scream out loud..
wish i was there to scream out loud wif them.. =)
congratsss to my group, n9 group..
+ kak anies + kak nisha + razie + zie + ayu + de + faa =) + akif + hana + wawa + nor +shaf +
we're rocks!!!!!!!!
=)

Don't tell me it's over

We had a good love.
It lasted for a while.
It brought joy and laughter,
then took away my smile.
For you were my first real love.
How could we be seperated?
Everyday I tried to remember.
Were there any mistakes?
Can you tell me what made us go our seperate ways?
Let me know,Why?
Our love faded away.
I thought our feelings were strong.
But was I wrong?
After all the time we spent,
Have you forgotten what our love meant?
Don't tell me it's over.
You wanna be just friends.
Do you remember what our love meant?
Can we start over?
Or is this the end?

++ Erza Ibrahim ++

Sorry

I'm Sorry
I'm sorry for the times you stress out,
and the loneliness you felt inside.
I'm sorry for the way things were,
and the selfishness that you endured.
I'm sorry for the nights we lost,
and the deep pain it must have cost.
I'm sorry for the love you missed,
losing you helped me realize this.
I'm sorry I wasn't the gurl you deserved,
this has been the hardest lesson learned.
I'm sorry I wasn't there to show,
the deepest love you'll ever know.
I'm sorry for the empty days,
and the stresses that you still yet pay.
I'm sorry for the way I left,
I've never felt so much regret.
I'm sorry for the heart I broke,
that shattered with the words I spoke.
I'm sorry for the empty space,
that laid beside you in my place.
I'm sorry for the empty arms,
you fell into when times were hard.
I'm sorry for the days that passed,
Our love now will surely last.
I'm sorry it took so long to vow,
to love you forever here and now.
- Erza Ibrahim -

stress out

as i sat in front my lap top
tryin to find the rite words n the rite things
to be written in my blog,
im alone tonite in my house..
all my housemate not in coz they go back to their hometown
emah, my best buddy at kl at her cousin place
they had a wedding tomorrow
usualy i follow her but i can't diz time
2morroy i hv a big event at my fac
hot tour carnival
hv 2 wear tradition dress of negeri sembilan with the damn heavy head gear 2morrow
when i tried it on my head,
i wonder how the princess wear the damn heavy thin all the time
during the acient time?
i cant stand 2 wear it even for a while only
huh hv 2 wear it for several hrs 2morrow, damn!
hope everything fine 2morrow..
damn im starving again n again
lately im kind of sterss
dun hv enough sleep lately
i hv soooooo many work but still
i want to go some where to chill out..
hmm..
but where? n wif who..
my babes not around n some who are here r goin out wif their bf
left me all alone..
sad sad sad..
warghhhh
juz want to cried out loud rite now..

the first one

today, as usual my class end up at 9.30 p.m
my usual rutin every monday
before diz i dun hv problem wif monday but diz semester
i hate monday...

i just finished making myself a glass of milk,
which has been my must do before i go to sleep
n a peanut butter sandwich
i hv 2 fill up myself before i go to sleep
a lil bit of hungry but dun kno what 2 eat
2day feels really damn tired
hv a lot of work 2 do n very busy week and up coming week

i usually like to rite alot
making poem and all dat stuff in my schools days
but usually its really hard for me to rite..
dun kno y
im kind lost of words
seem like my brain dosent work the way it suppose 2 work nmore

there's a few thing happen lately n i just keep thinking bout it
so as the result i cannot get enough sleep
dats y im damn tired beside my to do work

im hoping that i can wrote as much as i can
beside i can improve my skills of writing back
i also can express how i feel here
like it actually
can pretend i am a writer who have her on collum in the newspaper
and have her own reader fan
hahahahahhahahhahahah
but actually i like 2 do these kind of stuff..
so, y am i doing taking tourism management all diz time huh?

c u soon then

- Erza Ibrahim -